top of page

Hyper-independence, the Wounded Badge

Hyper-independence,


What does that really mean?


Well, it’s a response to not receiving the help we needed, so now we figure it’s safer and more reliable to do most things on our own. It's being overly self-reliant and avoiding assistance from others.


It means walking in the embodiment of:


-I’ve got it

-No, I don’t need your help

-I can do it by myself


Even when.. maybe it would be easier if you let someone else help you.


As humans- we depend on each other. A LOT. You could not survive by yourself here.


Everything is a sum of interrelated parts. When we close ourselves and our hearts to the abundance of help and support that surrounds us, out of fear, it can lead to feelings of isolation, difficulty, loneliness, and exhaustion.


We aren’t meant to do it all alone.


Hyper-independence can be a fun badge to wear, and definitely has its benefits, but as with anything in nature that is out of balance, you will inevitably notice the disharmony.


There’s a sense of satisfaction that can be found in completing things all on your own; whether it’s a specific task, building up your career, or your life. However, the truth is it’s extremely impractical and we didn’t come to earth, a place with 8 billion people, just to do everything on our own.


Carrying this energy of “I can do it all by myself” is exactly what’s closing you out from receiving the genuine love and support your soul truly desires. I’m sure you can do a lot by yourself, but do you really want to construct your reality to be that way?


If you get really honest with yourself- you’ll find that you don’t really want to carry all of this weight on your back, holding yourself up under the weight of the world.


I’m sure you would love to relax and have things taken care of for once.


So here’s where you need to start letting the light in.


This means accepting support. Opening yourself up to receiving provision in your life.


Getting comfortable with receiving.


This is something you may not even realize you have a problem with, but affects everything around you. If you aren’t comfortable receiving- you will subconsciously push away gifts in your life.


Try sitting in front of someone while they shower you with compliments; could you receive that openly?


How do you feel when receiving a physical gift?

Do you feel deserving and comfortable?

Or do you want to retract and immediately do something for the person who gave you the gift?

 

It can be really small at first. You don’t have to immediately be wide open to receiving support.


Just begin to notice when you’re pushing against it.


Slowly, your heart will begin to open more and more, and you’ll begin to feel the relief of knowing you have support in this world once you are available to receive it.


Start with small steps, like opening up to a close friend or family member about something that’s going on in your life. Be clear about what support you desire- whether it’s just an ear to listen, or if you’re seeking guidance/more support.


It’s important not to assume the other person knows what you need.

Use this as a practice to get clarity on your own needs and communicate effectively.


If you don’t know what you need, how is someone else supposed to know?


It’s easy for someone to not know how to support us, and we use this as a confirmation bias to feed our internal wounds.

 

I know when I want to share an achievement, talk about something I’m passionate about, or share a story and I’m not met with the level of support/enthusiasm I was hoping to receive, I can witness my mind immediately start the storylines of:


I’m not seen. I’m not cared about. I’m not enough.


But the thing is, I can see those for what they are, stories. I don’t need to feed into them with my energy and attention, I can observe and understand where these stories came from, which loosens their grip on my reality.


Being vulnerable takes practice when you’ve built up a hard shell, but as you continue to soften and trust, the pieces begin to chip away.


There’s still a chance you could open up to someone and not get the support you were looking for, but as an adult, you are more capable of not taking it personally- since their support is not essential to your survival. You can feel the sore spot that was created during your childhood, and notice it for what it is, a sore spot where a need was unmet and is getting triggered again.

Every situation can be used for healing and opening your heart more, or hardening and closing your heart.


Choose the one that feels most like love.


image by @livecolorfullyproductions










Comentarios


bottom of page